Friday, 24 April 2015

A little train journey

Ludlow to Shrewsbury

A calm carriage on the 07:50 Milford Haven to Manchester Piccadilly.  A telephone rings:

“Hi Sarah!  No, I am just on the train now.  Yeah, I can talk.  It’s dead quiet in here.  Did you see her?  OMG, what did she say?  She didn’t!  She didn’t!  OMG what a cow, I cannot believe it.  Did she really say that!  How does her mind work?  I am so going to have it out with her.  I was with my mum, and she was like ‘you need to stop worrying about her and what she is saying and just  get on with your own life’ and I was like you don’t know what you’re talking about mum, she aint never gonna let it go and even though I am always dead nice to her she still keeps throwing it in my face, and I have tried, but there is no point.  You know what I mean, Sarah?  Natasha says she heard it too and I know that Claire knows and I bet she is going to talk to Rachel and if she tells her everyone will be on about it.  You know me, I aint no stirrer, but I am not having it.  I am just going to tell her, and then she can go and do whatever she likes, cos I aint gonna be bothered by her no more, and I will tell everyone what she did on the field trip and then she will wish she kept her mouth shuts cos no-one talks about me like that and I aint having it.  I aint bothered but you know, I have to say summat or she is gonna keep on and on and it will be all ‘listen to me cos I got summat to tell you’ and she won’t let anyone else speak, cos it all has to be about her and she just wants to be the centre of attention all the time.”

Shrewbury to Crewe/Amwythig – Cryw

"Pan fyddwn yn cyrraedd yno , Tomos ? "
"Mewn hanner awr "
" A welsoch chi Glyn ? Mae ei wraig yn yr ysbyty eto. Rwy'n credu ei fod yn ddrwg. "
" Clywais "
"Ie "
" Ydych chi eisiau taffi "
" Gwnaf. diolch "
" Dim pryderon , paru "

Crewe to Milton Keynes Central

“Jeanette, I think it is here.  I think there is someone in my seat.  We can have this row”
“Oh dear, do you  think we should?  What if someone wants this seat?”
“It says it is not reserved. “
“So why did he sit in a reserved seat?”
“Sh, he’ll hear you!  I don’t think he can see.  It is not very obvious, is it?  They used to put nice cards on the seat so you knew. “
“We can sit here.  These seats are alright”
“Have a cheese scone”
“I love your cheese scones.  They are always so soft.”
“What do they have these little plugs for?  I should have brought my kettle.”
“Ooh look, here is the ticket lady.  We can ask her about the seats”
“Oh, don’t make a fuss”
“Tickets please, ladies”
“We have a reservation ticket too, but there was someone in our seat.  But we are alright here”
“Oh, I am sorry.  Would you like me to get your allocated seats for you?”
“Oh no, we would not want to make a fuss.  It is only a quiet train, and we are quite comfortable here”
“Are you sure, now?”
“Oh yes, thank you very much.”
“Oh, Sylvia, I do think she ought to have moved him.  It is not quite right”
“Oh, I know, Jeanette.  I don’t think she wanted to do it, and I did not like to make a fuss”
“Are there any cheese scones left?”

Milton Keynes Central to London Euston

Silence.  Blesséd silence.

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