Toilet Humour

Here are some notices I have seen in toilets lately:

1.        Toilet paper only should be put down this toilet.  I read this a bit too late.

2.       Maximum load: 20kg.  As I weigh more than 20kg, and most other people do, there is only one rather alarming conclusion as to what this means.  Let me just say, that if you find yourself breaking this rule, please eat more fibre.

3.       No more than five persons in this cubicle at any time.  I had struggled to get in and close the door, so narrow was this bookshop toilet cubicle.

4.       Cold drinks may not be consumed in this toilet.  But, I guess, one can take a latte in there.

5.       Please do not put sanitary towels on the toilet roll holder.  Again, rather alarming.  More so as this was not even a unisex toilet, but a gents in a department store.

Happy sitting.

The cost of food

While we have all been in a credit crunch for some years,  but this is the first year that I really began to notice this myself, despite the constant flow of bad news, the excellence of the PM programme Upshares, Downshares and, of course, the new doom and gloom inflicted on us by a banker-preserving government.  There are some reasons for this – it is only in the last eighteen months I have been a householder.  I don’t have a mortgage.  I am not a rich person who has savings.  But most of all, I did not used to do food shopping.

Food does not really constitute a huge part of one’s budget, but the increasing cost of food, coming at a time when money is short, and when luxuries have been cut, is really beginning to pinch.  The first thing that struck me when starting to shop again, was just how expensive some of the basics are – milk, bread, eggs.  Conversely,  plain local vegetables are cheaper – potatoes, carrots, onions.  The pack of long life milk I buy was £3 in June 2010.  Now it is £4.20 – a rise of 40%.  Food over all, according to this article has risen by 7.5% in 2011.  But, as the article highlights, coffee has increased by 21%, wine 14%, butter 20%.  Some items have clearly frozen, or even gone down.  Others have increased enormously. 

This, of course, has made life that little bit harder.  I by cheaper brands, and eat less meat and dairy than before, instead having more carbo-hydrate, and more vegetables – probably all a good thing.  I do not spend hours checking prices, but if something I regularly use is buy one get one free, then I will.  The supermarkets are all at war, and checking each other’s prices.  Today, being at home, I took the Mother to Sainsbury, and they gave me a nasty little printed slip with my receipt, informing me my shopping would be cheaper at Tesco (which does not surprise me, I thought their prices were high).  A money off coupon for the difference was on it, but, of course, I am sure they hold their prices higher so they can do this.  The average shopper, coming out with a coupon, feels happy.  I am not the average shopper and would rather have not paid more in the first place, nor be given a coupon so I have to visit again.

So, with wage rises cancelled out by rent and food increases, we all need to be a bit more careful.  I shall give you some tips on how I have managed to cut costs – although I guess one is Good Food Does Not Cost Less at Sainsbury’s.

The 56 Rejected Monarchs

In 1714, Georg Ludwig, Elector of Hannover, became, on the death of Queen Anne, King of Great Britain. Yet 56 others were in the line to inherit before him – Catholics disinherited due to the Act of Settlement. Here are the ones who came before him:

 1. James Stuart, called the Old Pretender 1688-1766. He was the son of James II, whose birth (following a long string of miscarriages and short-lived children) secured the Catholic succession and thus prompted the Glorious Revolution which ousted his father. James remained in Exile, and married Maria Sobieska, a Polish princess, and fathered Charles (Bonny Prince Charlie) and Cardinal Henry Stuart, who was the last remaining male member of the house of Stuart. Had James inherited after the death of his father, James II, he would have reigned for 65 years.
 2. Anne Marie of Orleans, Duchess of Savoy and Queen of Sardinia 1669-1728, daughter of Henrietta Anne, daughter of Charles I, who had married Philippe I, Duke of Orleans, brother of Louis XIVof France and her first cousin. She married Vittorio Amedeo II, Duke of Savoy and King of Sardinia.
 3. Vittorio Amedeo, prince of Savoy and Sardinia 1699-1715 (son of No 2).
 4. Carlo Emmanuele III, later duke of Savoy and King of Sardinia 1701-1773, son of No 2. He married firstly, Anna, Princess Palatinal of Sulzbach, then Polyxena of Hesse-Rheinfels-Rotenburg, and finally Elisabeth Theresia of Lorraine (number 20). Through his descendants comes the current Jacobite claimant, the de jure King of Bavaria.
 5. Louis, prince of France, later Louis XV King of France, 1710-1774. He was the son of the late Marie Adelaide of Savoy, daughter of number 2, who had married Louis, grandson of Louis XIV of France. Louis married Maria Lesczynska, a Polish princess.
 6. Luis of Spain, later Luis I, King of Spain 1707-1724. He was the son of the late Maria Luisa of Savoy, daughter of number 2, who had married Felipe V, King of Spain. He later married Louise Elisabeth of Orleans (number 15).
 7. Felipe of Spain, his brother 1712-1719.
 8. Fernando of Spain, his brother, later Fernando VI, King of Spain, 1713-1759. He married Mara Magdalena of Portugal.
 9. Elisabeth Charlotte of the Palatinate, daughter of Karl I Elector Palatine (who had married Charlotte of Hesse-Cassel), the son of Elizabeth, daughter of James I, who had married Friedrich V, Elector Palatine, and King of Bavaria. Elisabeth lived from 1652-1722 and married Philippe I, Duke of Orleans, who had previously married Henrietta Anne, daughter of Charles I, and who was the father of number 2.
 10. Philippe II, later Duke of Orleans 1674-1723, son of number 9. He married his cousin, Francoise de Blois, illegitimate daughter of Louis XIV.
 11. Louis I, later Duke of Orleans 1703-1752. He married Augusta Maria of Baden Baden and was the great-grandfather of Louis Philippe, King of the French, from whom the current French claimant descends.
 12. Marie Louise of Orleans, Duchess of Berry 1695-1719, his daughter. She married her cousin, Charles, Duc of Berry.
 13. Marie Louise Adelaide of Orleans, her sister 1698-1743.
 14. Charlotte Aglae of Orleans 1700-1761, her sister. She married Francesco III Maria of Este, Duke of Modena, number 49.
 15. Louise Elisabeth of Orleans 1709-42, her sister. She married her cousin Luis I King of Spain (number 7)
16. Elisabeth Charlotte of Orleans, Duchess of Lorraine 1676-1744, daughter of No 9. She married Leopold, Duke of Lorraine.
 17. Leopold, prince of Lorraine 1707-1723, her son.
 18. Franz, prince of Lorraine, 1708-1765, his brother. He later married Maria Theresia of Austria, Queen of Hungary and Bohemia, and was elected Holy Roman Emperor (and was the father of the famed Queen Marie Antoinette).
 19. Carl, prince of Lorraine, his brother, 1712-1780. He married Maria Anna of Austria.
 20. Elisabeth Theresia of Lorraine, his sister, 1711-1741. She married number 4.
 21. Anne Charlotte of Lorraine, her sister, 1714-1773.
 22. Ludwig Otto, Prince of Salm 1674-1738. He was the son of Carl Theodor of Salm, who had married Luise Maria of the Palatinate, daughter of Eduard of the Palatine and Anna Gonzaga. Eduard was son of Elisabeth, daughter of James I. Ludwig Otto married Albertine of Nassau-Hadamar.
 23. Dorothea of Salm, his daughter, 1702-1751. She married Nikolaus of Salm-Salm, and had nineteen children.
 24. Elisabeth of Salm, her sister, 1704-1739. She married Claude Lamoral II de Ligne.
 25. Christina Anna of Salm, her sister, 1707-1777. She married firstly Joseph of Hesse-Rheinfels-Rotenburg, and secondly, Nikolaus of Salm-Salm (husband of her sister, number 23).
 26. Eleonore Christine of Salm, sister 22, 1678-1757. She married Conrad d’Ursel.
 27. Anna Henriette of the Palatinate, aunt of 22, and daughter of Eduard of the Palatinate, son of Elizabeth, daughter of James I, 1648-1723. She married Henri III, Duke of Bourbon-Conde.
 28. Louis of Bourbon- Conde, later Duke Louis IV of Bourbon-Conde 1692-1740. He was the son of Louis III of Bourbon-Conde (son of No 27) and Louise Francoise de Bourbon, illegitimate daughter of Louis XIV of France. He married firstly, Marie Anne of Bourbon-Conti, number 40, then secondly, Carolina of Hesse-Rheinfels-Rotenburg, then thirdly, Armande de La Porte-Mazarin. 29. Charles of Bourbon-Conde, his brother 1700-1760.
 30. Louis of Bourbon-Conde, his brother, 1709-1771.
 31. Louise Charlotte of Bourbon-Conde, his sister, 1700-1754. She married Nicolas Etienne de Changy
 32. Marie Anne of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1690-1760.
 33. Louise Elisabeth of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1693-1775. She married Louis Armand II of Bourbon-Conte, number 39.
 34. Louise Anne of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1695-1758.
 35. Marie Anne of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1697-1741. She married Louis de Melun.
 36. Henriette Marie of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1703-1772.
 37. Elisabeth Alexandrine of Bourbon-Conde, her sister, 1705-1765. 
38. Marie Therese of Bourbon-Conde, daughter of 27, 1666-1732. She married Francois Louis of Bourbon-Conti.
 39. Louis Armand II of Bourbon-Conti, her son, 1695-1727. He married number 33.
 40. Marie Anne of Bourbon-Conti, his sister, 1689-1720. She married number 28.
 41. Louise-Adelaide of Bourbon-Conti, her sister, 1696-1750.
 42. Anna Louise of Bourbon-Conde, sister of 38, 1676-1753. She married Louis of Bourbon, illegitimate son of Louis XIV of France.
 43. Louis Auguste of Bourbon, her son, 1700-1755.
 44. Louis Charles of Bourbon, his brother, 1701-1775.
 45. Louise Francoise of Bourbon, his sister, 1707-1743.
 46. Marie Anne of Bourbon-Conde, sister of 42, 1678-1718. She married Louis II of Bourbon-Vendome.
 47. Benedikta of the Palatinate, sister of 27, 1652-1730. She married Johann Friedrich of Brunswick-Calenberg.
 48. Charlotte Felizitas of Brunswick-Calenberg, her daughter, 1671-1710. She married Rinaldo II d’Este, Duke of Modena. 
49. Francesco Maria Este, her son, later Francesco III Maria, Duke of Modena, 1698-1780. He married No 14.
 50. Giovanni of Este, his brother, 1700-1727.
 51. Benedicta of Este, his sister, 1697-1777.
 52. Anna Amalia of Este, her sister, 1699-1778.
 53. Henrietta Maria of Este, her sister. She married firstly Antonio Farnese of Parma, and secondly Leopold of Hesse-Darmstadt.
 54. Wilhelmina of Brunswick-Calenberg, sister of 48, 1673-1742. She married Holy Roman Emperor Joseph I.
 55. Maria Josefa of Austria, her daughter, 1699-1757. She married Friedrich II, Elector of Saxony and King of Poland.
 56. Maria Amalia of Austria, her sister, 1701-1756. She married Holy Roman Emperor Karl VII, Elector of Bavaria. He was the main candidate against Franz I (no 18) in the War of the Austrian Succession.
 57. Georg Ludwig, Elector of Hannover, son of Ernst Ludwig, Elector of Hannover, and Sophia of the Palatinate, daughter of Elizabeth, daughter of James I.

 To put this into perspective, the current 57th person in the line of succession according to http://www.britroyals.com/succession.htm is Maximilian Lascelles, one of the numerous descendants of Mary, Princess Royal, the daughter of George V. He is actually the last of the descendants of George V, and, after him, the line continues to the descendants of the daughters of Edward VII. The King of Norway is Number 65 now. The heiress of the King of Rumania (himself banned by marrying a Catholic) is No 88.

What is your story?

One of the things I love to do is to talk with people, and hear their story. Everyone has a story to tell. Sometimes it is the general narration of someone you have just met. Sometimes it is a deeply personal account from a close friend. Triumph, tragedy, interesting anecdote, mutual experience, heart-warming, or tear jerking, the story can feature some or all of these things. By sharing the stories of our lives with each other, we get to know one another more, and we can find common ground as we realise interests and experiences have been shared, we can have the assurance that others have been on a similar journey, and we can share tips and advice one with another. This can be particularly powerful when speaking of the deeper things in life - matters of faith, of love, of life and death.

This weekend, I went to a meeting where someone told his story. I shall not name him; his identity is not relevant here. But at that meeting, I was again reminded of the truths of the preceding paragraph. I came to the meeting expecting to hear from a man of whom I had heard something, but knew little. I left thinking about the experiences of someone who I knew more, but, more importantly, who I felt I understood, who was indeed a sibling in my human existence. I was flushed with the beauty of such commonality, and took something away to meditate on, to act on, and to shape future thinking.

The man who spoke was not someone with whom I can agree one hundred per cent. Differences in outlook were highlighted. But, as I saw his human side, these became, somehow less important. And here, I think is the true benefit of all this. For meeting people and talking with them is not just about nice feelings and the Banbury Man waffling on again telling us to be nice to each other. It strikes me that xenophobia, homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, and other form of discrimination become much more difficult to practise when one knows the object of one’s prejudice. It is all very well to read the worse excesses of the press and believe immigrants to be a thoroughly bad lot. It is harder to believe this when one meets an immigrant and hears their story.

So, be it for the sake of friendship, personal interest, warm feeling, or even world peace, take the time out to hear someone’s especially if you know it is a person with whom you do not always agree. You might even learn something about yourself!